Friday, December 08, 2006

Shop, Drop, and Roll

Headline: Holiday Shoppers Keep Buying During Fire

An electrical fire that filled a department store with thick smoke didn't deter holiday shoppers, and firefighters had to block the doors to keep customers from coming in, authorities said.

Okay, I get the whole chestnuts-roasting-on-an-open-fire thing, but this is taking it just a little too far. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you supposed to turn away from the flames?

I understand some people live to shop, but I am not one of those people, especially when the actual building is hotter than the deals. Who, other than shoplifters, would go in there?

To me, a fire is the perfect excuse to stay home instead of fighting the masses or at least a good enough excuse for not being able to find that perfect gift.

You can always claim to have wanted to get that thousand dollar coat for your sister, but couldn’t due to the fire – damn. It’s the thought that counts, though, right?

Although, I guess it would be a good chance to buy that smoking jacket you’ve always wanted or that red-hot blazer.

The thing that bothers me the most is the trouble the firefighters had to deal with. I’ll bet people like that really burn their ass, as if battling an inferno isn’t enough!?

Hmm… (light bulb). It would definitely lend credence to the whole sliding-down-the-chimney tale if the toys and clothes are covered in ashes and soot on Christmas morning. Maybe those shoppers weren’t so crazy after all, now that I think of it.

Even so, I wonder what the surveillance tapes would reveal, if anything, about the incident. Call me cynical, but I’d bet there’d be a lot more than just Santa walking around with a bundle of toys flung on their back.

8 Comments:

Blogger David Amulet said...

Instead of arguing about this, we should celebrate. Let us cheer for the natural selection of the annoying uber-shoppers!

-- david

1:52 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger X. Dell said...

To paraphrase Hawkeye Pierce, if there were more people like them, there would be less people like them.

4:46 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

David: you're so right. hip, hip, hooray.

X: he's so funny, and it's so true.

5:04 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

What an extraordinary example of groupthink. Whenever individuals are part of a "mob," their IQs suddenly drop 100 points.

8:15 PM, December 08, 2006  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Probably many of these people were thinking "Cool, a fire. That will clear some people out of my way!".

6:42 AM, December 09, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am really not too surprised about this...I can name three people right now who can go without food and water and sleep and anything else that is necessary to live a healthy life while shopping is the activity of the moment. When confronted, they have no idea what what the hell I'm talking about...:)

9:01 AM, December 09, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Mark, that's exactly what they were thinking!

John, leave your wife and mother-in-law out of this!! ;)

2:12 PM, December 09, 2006  
Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

shopping in a fire? I say there was some would-be looters trying to save money! Times are tough, you know...

10:58 AM, December 14, 2006  

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