Shop, Drop, and Roll

Headline: Holiday Shoppers Keep Buying During Fire

An electrical fire that filled a department store with thick smoke didn't deter holiday shoppers, and firefighters had to block the doors to keep customers from coming in, authorities said.

Okay, I get the whole chestnuts-roasting-on-an-open-fire thing, but this is taking it just a little too far. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you supposed to turn away from the flames?

I understand some people live to shop, but I am not one of those people, especially when the actual building is hotter than the deals. Who, other than shoplifters, would go in there?

To me, a fire is the perfect excuse to stay home instead of fighting the masses or at least a good enough excuse for not being able to find that perfect gift.

You can always claim to have wanted to get that thousand dollar coat for your sister, but couldn’t due to the fire – damn. It’s the thought that counts, though, right?

Although, I guess it would be a good chance to buy that smoking jacket you’ve always wanted or that red-hot blazer.

The thing that bothers me the most is the trouble the firefighters had to deal with. I’ll bet people like that really burn their ass, as if battling an inferno isn’t enough!?

Hmm… (light bulb). It would definitely lend credence to the whole sliding-down-the-chimney tale if the toys and clothes are covered in ashes and soot on Christmas morning. Maybe those shoppers weren’t so crazy after all, now that I think of it.

Even so, I wonder what the surveillance tapes would reveal, if anything, about the incident. Call me cynical, but I’d bet there’d be a lot more than just Santa walking around with a bundle of toys flung on their back.