Friday, November 24, 2006

Balloon Wranglers

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade began in the early 1920s. Some say it was created as a distraction for husbands and children across America so that housewives were able to cook in peace, without anyone sneaking bites of food in the process.

Others claim it was to lure customers to the downtown area stores for the big Christmas shopping day.

I have another idea for the origin.

Picture it. After that first colossal Thanksgiving meal, the father of the house pushed his button-popped belly away from the dinner table and slowly maneuvered toward the patio for a breath of air.

Once he stepped out onto the balcony of his NYC home, he lit up a cigarette. Soon after that first, satisfying drag, it wasn’t just blue curls that floated up into the air, but the father, also!

Bloated from too many helpings of delicious turkey and stuffing, he wafted up into the sky with more grace than the the scent of pumpkin pie.

The rest of the family scrambled to throw him a line in an effort to tether him back to Earth before he was lost forever; thus, the Thanksgiving Day parade was born.

Okay, maybe I’m stretching the truth a bit here, but it’s better than stretching your waistband.

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday.

Oh, and by the way, if there’s a strange object detected hovering over the New Orleans Superdome, have no fear - that would be me.

14 Comments:

Blogger Ben said...

Was that you I just saw floating up in our English skyline ?

Have a great holiday OMW, and think of us poor Brits working like any other day.

7:05 AM, November 24, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

yes, it probably was. :)

don't feel bad, my husband is at work even as I type.

7:18 AM, November 24, 2006  
Blogger JohnB said...

I actually floated up to the Space Needle and popped!

8:12 AM, November 24, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

oh no!! I thought I heard something. that's hilarious.

12:03 PM, November 24, 2006  
Blogger mindy said...

i was blown far away by the texas wind!!! and it's 80 degrees here.. on thanksgiving??? crazy!!
(my hubby was working too)
hope you had a good one!!

5:18 PM, November 24, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

80 degrees? Well, Mindy, I guess that makes you a hot-air balloon! (wha-wha-whaaa.)

5:24 PM, November 24, 2006  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Every year I say that I'll go to that damn parade and every year I decide it's not worth the traffic headache. I hate standing in crowds.

6:48 PM, November 25, 2006  
Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

Yeah, I think the news cameras spotted me hovering over Baltimore's inner harbor. Back in the day I would've given the finger for added effect, but you have to grow up sometime, I guess.

6:14 AM, November 26, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Enemy - I haven't been either, but we must at least once in our lifetime.

Ray - says who? :)

10:00 AM, November 26, 2006  
Blogger Kay said...

Nice blog and theory, though you didn't mention all of the hot air of the parade float dad put out. Or maybe that was just my own post-Thanksgiving father.

7:47 PM, November 28, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Thanks Kay, and you're right, I guess it was just a given that people had to deflate sooner or later. And no, it wasn't just your Dad. :)

8:58 AM, November 29, 2006  
Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

that's exactly the answer I wanted to hear! Growing up is bullshit.

5:42 PM, November 29, 2006  
Blogger X. Dell said...

When I lived on Times Square, I used to be able to watch the parade from my window, and then see it live on TV. But then they built the millenium hotel, and I couldn't see anything after that.

I have watched the parade on the street. It's a great one to see...if you live within walking distance. Otherwise, I agree with Enemy. Too much hassle.

4:00 PM, November 30, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

How fun that must've been for you?! Traffic or no, I have to at least go once. I haven't even been to New York yet though, aside from the airport. So I have a lot of things to get done before I die.

4:17 PM, November 30, 2006  

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