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Headline: Transvestite gang pesters Magazine Street

NEW ORLEANS — Robyn Lewis, owner of Dark Harm fashion and accessories for women, represents the first line of defense for the Magazine Street shop owners. She is the first to see them come strutting in their pumps down St. Andrew Street, the bewigged pack of thieves who have plagued the Lower Garden District since May.

What strikes fear into the hearts of New Orleans residents? Hurricane season? Hell no. The re-election of Mayor Nagin? Nah, that's not it either. The Lucky Dog Hotdog vendor? Nope! (but it really, Really should).

What strikes fear into their hearts is nothing other than a roving band of transvestite thieves. Yes, you heard me correctly. A bunch of sweet transvestites.

This could only happen here. It's astounding, time is fleeting. Madness takes it's toll.

Wouldn't Mel Brooks have a field day with this idea? A band of merry men stealing from the rich...Hey, wait a minute!

"We're men, men in tights - tight, tights!"

I'd love to witness an encounter between them and the National Guard troops. If they were caught, I'm sure there'd be a 15 minute debate over who would have to search them. Answer? The lowest ranking guy.

This is just too much - my head is starting to ache from trying to imagine it. However, it could be from the bobbypins holding my wig in place. Oh well. Gotta run ladies, I've got some shopping to do.