Friday, April 14, 2006

Do the Hustle

Whenever I was young I claimed to hate Disco with a passion. I rebelled against the popular dance/music craze, made famous by Saturday Night Fever, with a zeal comparable to those of the Crusaders.

I can't say I wasn't exactly struck by the disco fever, per se. Not only did it give me a fever, it also induced vomiting, nausea, and the inability to operate heavy machinery.

Should I say I hated the Bee Gees? Hate is such a strong word. Yes, I hated the Brothers Gibb, especially their signature pose and hairy chest displays.

Also, Scooby-Doo or not, I hated America’s Top 40 with Casey Kasem. In particular, the long distance dedication letters he’d read about some love struck, sappy dumbass who was desperate enough to pick the sickest song on the charts in a pointless effort to win back their lost love - usually Reunited from Peaches & Herb or something equally sickening.

Whatever everybody liked or listened to, I did just the opposite. While some sang along with Dr. Hook, I chose Dr. Love. When all the girls sang We Are Fam-i-ly, I was stomping and clapping to We Are the Champions.

Leo Sayer didn't make me feel like dancing at all, unless the definition of dancing meant kneeling and hanging my head over the toilet, followed by violent stomach spasms and dizziness.

If someone played the Copa Cabana, as soon as he said, “her name was Lola” – I would chime in by singing, “El-oh-el-aye Lola la-la-la-la Lola” and disrupt his or her tribute to Barry Manilow as quickly as I could.

So, now that you have a little bit of background of what I claimed to be, can anyone explain the phenomenon of why is it that I seem to know every single word to those songs?

In fact, while cleaning my house just now, it was accomplished with energy and enthusiasm, meaning high-pitched singing and silly dance moves, to the Bee Gee's You Should Be Dancing. My dog is still cowering under the table.

What does it all mean? Was it mere repetition that planted those words in my heart? Or was I a closet disco duck all along? Have I become what I hated the most? Has it happened to anyone besides me? Did you ever claim to hate country music, yet you have the Timelife collection in your garage?

I suppose there’s no real point in trying to make sense of it all. It’s not like a pill is currently being developed that would erase K.C. & The Sunshine Band from my memory or any known vaccine against disco fever.

All I can do is accept my sickness and hope for a cure. Until then, I will keep my feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.


Blogger JohnB said...

I had a good friend in college who was real heavy into bands such as "Metallica", "Sisters of Mercy", etc. but at the same time he loved the Bee Gees...he used to say that they were "the Led Zeppelin of disco"...crazy but true.

9:29 AM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

"the Led Zeppelin of disco"... Although I agree, something about those words being used in the same sentence makes me feel strange. :)

9:39 AM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger ItsTJoint said...

If you grew up when I did, you would forever have the entire lyrical library of Dr. Dre's "The Chronic" in your head whether you even liked it or not. Seriously, I hadn't heard ""Dre Day" in about 8 years and then it came on and I found I knew every word...and I didn't even like it back then.

1:27 PM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

how does that happen? it'll remain a mystery, i guess.

I suppose I got lucky with with disco rather than gangsta stuff - at least the former can be played at wedding receptions without causing too much alarm. :)

1:44 PM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger StringMan said...

Clearly, you were a 'discophobe' early in life, but really a closet 'discophile'. You must have had the "D" gene that predetermines your musical preference. You tried to suppress it for as long as you could. Maybe even overcompensated by following Metallica, or Iron Maiden ... or Lynyrd Skynyrd.

But then later in life, that "D" gene was activated and you basically could pretend no more. You could not hold back your true nature: You had to "came out of the closet". You are now like some 1-2% of the population. You are a Discollectual. Deal with it.

-- Dr Phil

5:01 PM, April 14, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

I'll deal with it while I listen to Master of Puppets and try to erase all those "wasted years" of pretending to be something I'm not. :) I refuse to believe you Dr. Phil. I'm 90% metal, at least. :)

6:06 PM, April 14, 2006  
Anonymous Milred said...

I don't know how that happens either, but hey disco was the craze...the dancing ...the music ..ya had to luv it. Like all phases of life had it's purpose and it was fun. Maybe that's why I point my finger..or maybe not!!

7:18 PM, April 14, 2006  

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