Monday, April 03, 2006

Steeple Chase

Headline: Churchgoers Live Longer
A new study finds people who attend religious services weekly live longer.

The study, which is actually a review of existing research from the three categories, does not reveal what the link between faith and health might be.
Without wasting time on a study, I can tell you what the link is right now.

It's rather simple, really - fear! Fear of a little ole' place called HELL.

People do not want to go there - no matter how many times I've politely asked them to - and they figure out ways to live longer as to avoid it as long as possible.

The only downside is that these people are here longer than they ought to be, thus creating a certain type of Hell on Earth for everyone else.

So, if a study must be conducted then one should be done on how to live in a hell-on-earth environment, which won't be as easy as it sounds.

Just ask anyone who has ever attended a Catholic school and they'll tell you all about it.


Blogger JohnB said...

Lifted by '70's bowl pulled...screamed at...knelt on tile floor for more than 60 minutes...desk overturned and contents scattered...placed into "C" reading group (moi?)...multiple checkmarks after name...told to shhhhT during Mass...drank 1/4 bottle of wine in the sacristy...asked to buy smack while riding bike to said school...

2:17 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

good lord! Did you attend Our Lady of Alcatraz?

2:30 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger JohnB said...

St. Bernardine of a NW suburb of Los Angeles.

2:43 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

and all this time I thought east L.A. was the bad part of town. :)

did the priest put cigarettes out on your forehead for ash wednesday, too?

2:45 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger JohnB said...

The priests happened to be the only civilized people there, actually.

2:50 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger ItsTJoint said...

I actually had to clean the court area of my school with a toothbrush once. It was BS. The priests were pretty cool, but the nuns...oy!

4:06 PM, April 03, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

yes, there are some nuns that can be pretty mean. or strict as they like to call it. :)

6:57 PM, April 03, 2006  

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