Make Love, Not Dinner

Headline: 'Hippie Chimps' Fast Disappearing in Congo

Bonobos are known for greeting rival groups with genital handshakes and sensual body rubs. Bonobo spats are swiftly settled — often with a French kiss and a quick round of sex.

Genital handshakes? Imagine if that were the custom in human relations. That would certainly throw a monkey wrench into the sexual harassment program.

When Bonobos do LSD do they trip about living on Haight & Ashbury, listening to a continuous loop of Inna Gadda Da Vida or would they prefer the Monkeys? Hmm. Hard to tell. Perhaps their favorite band is The Who-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo (beat chest).

I personally like to imagine them lying around, love beads dangling from their necks, occasionally picking through each others' hair - passing the banana - and blaring Bridge of Sighs by Robin Trower, but I could be wrong. Maybe you should Go Ask Alice, I think she'll know.

Either way, the Genital Handshakes would be a great name for a rock band.