Friday, February 10, 2006

Fowl Play

Headline: Kiss of life makes Boo Boo the chicken better

"I breathed into its beak, and its dadgum eyes popped open," Morris said. "I breathed into its beak again, and its eyes popped open again. I said, 'I think this chicken's alive now. Keep it warm."
According to this report - sent in by alert reader Jeremy of St. Paul - a retired nurse administered life saving kisses to her brother's chicken. Apparently, incest is alive and well in Arkansas. (cue banjo). Like there was ever a doubt.

She stated she had a difficult time locating a pulse. My best guess would be it is somewhere beneath the nuggets and directly in front the dumplings, although, I don't know much about chicken anatomy except that it's fun to say really fast.

The puzzling thing to me is why did Boo Boo's airway lead to its eye sockets? Shouldn't lungs have inflated instead? That could be one reasonable explanation of why he was found face-down in the pond. And it could also be the reason the chicken appeared to be afraid constantly if everytime he took in a breath, his eyes bugged out.

But, for some reason, I just can't believe this was a startled reaction that led to his swimming extravaganza. Could it have been murder - in the 350th degree!?

Of course, why else were they so concerned with body temperature? They planned to eat the dadgummed thing! As a matter of fact, what they failed to report was after she said, "keep it warm" she continued by saying, "the biscuits are almost ready."

Will someone please explain to those hillbillies that CPR doesn't stand for Culinary Poultry Resuscitation. And while you're at it - pass the gravy.


Blogger JohnB said...

That chicken must have had a "purdy mouth!"

8:05 PM, February 10, 2006  
Blogger StringMan said...

This is a very bizarre story. Chicken CPR? Am I being punked or is this real? Dang rednecks!

5:25 PM, February 11, 2006  
Blogger Rocky said...

I'm glad the rescuer stayed calm. Many others were probably running around like chickens with their heads cut off...

2:32 PM, February 12, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

JB: yes, hopefully didn't squeal like a pig too.

Stringman: no, you're being 'pecked'

Rocky: true. don't need any fluster-clucks going in a crisis.

8:43 PM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger ItsTJoint said...

Took me a while to get back to this. Damn training at work. You did a great job with it. The banjo rocks on.

10:08 PM, February 15, 2006  

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