A.B.C. - It's Easy As 1-2-3

Headline: Finding drunks in a bar -- what are the chances?

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

Ah yes, the Alcoholic Beverage Commission, a.k.a., Already Been Convicted.

What are they doing? I could understand waiting to nab people in parking lots before they got behind the wheel, or busting people for causing a disturbance of some kind - but this is going just a little too far. It's too easy, it's like shooting fish in a barrel - of beer, that is.

Soon, we won't be able to do anything in public - no smoking, no drunkeness. What's next? Arresting people who use restaurant bathrooms for public urination. Sending S.W.A.T. teams into Neiman Marcus dressing rooms to round up folks for indecent exposure?

This will alter the face of nightlife forever. Who's going to sing karaoke sober? Fat, ugly women will never get laid again. Toothless hicks will never get the nerve to ask someone to dance.

Actually, now that I think about it, it may not be such a bad thing afterall.