Sunday, December 11, 2005

Weddings of Mass Destruction

Headline: Pakistan wedding inferno kills 40
At least 40 people have been killed after firecrackers exploded on a bus carrying guests back from a wedding in Lahore, eastern Pakistan.

What the reporter failed to mention is that firecrackers in Pakistan aren't the typical Black Cat variety we all know and love. Their versions aren't wrapped in see-through, red paper like what we're accustomed to, theirs are usually nestled in wooden crates labeled: MUNITIONS.

Take the roman candle for instance, ours usually shoot out 3 or 4 colored fireballs and everyone ooohs and aahhs. Theirs are more akin to surface-to-air-missiles which creates the explosive effect upon impact, accompanied by crowds shouting ooowws and uugghhs instead. In Pakistan, bottle-rockets are more commonly known as RPGs, the only similarity between the two is the distinct fffffffoooomp sound when launched. I can assure you the results are quite different, unless you get hit in the eye with one - that hurts.

Maybe the kid should've stuck with sparklers, that's all I was allowed to do when I was young.


Blogger She was shaken and stirred said...

First no rice, now no firecrackers...weddings are starting to really get lame.

11:07 AM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

guess they'll have to save all the pageantry for funerals instead...including cans tied to the hearse with "newly-dead" written on the back window.

11:44 AM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger JohnB said...

We might as well skip to the last and add ICBM's to the list!

1:16 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

those are for New Year's Eve silly - not weddings! :)

1:42 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger Rocky said...

Wow, dynamite for firecrackers. What do they use for cutting the cake? A chainsaw?

1:46 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

no, they use claymores - that way everyone gets cake in their faces.

1:54 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger Rocky said...

Aha, very impressive.
Now I suppose you are going to tell me that when the time comes for the bridge and groom to make their toasts, they whip out flamethrowers? ;-)

3:39 PM, December 12, 2005  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

something like that - I would say when the best man toasted the bride and groom - he *really* toasted them.

3:51 PM, December 12, 2005  

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