A-maize-ing

Headline: Americans burning corn to cut heating costs

As US heating costs spiral to all-time highs, American homeowners are turning to burning corn in special stoves to reduce their energy bills. Sales of corn-burning stoves have tripled this year and distributors across the country have been sold out for weeks.

The downside: enough popcorn to fill Dodger Stadium. The upside: enough popcorn to fill Dodger Stadium. I love popcorn! Where can I get one of these stoves?

On second thought, would a corn-burning stove saturate your house eternally with that scorched, stench of black death that occurs when you burn popcorn?

Either way, if you aren't happy with the appliance, at least there'd be enough packing material to send it back.