Jive Turkey!

Headline: Man uses turkey to rescue 2 from car

"I said, `Hell, I'll just use the damn turkey.' And that's what I did," Copsy said. He yelled for the driver to cover his face, and used the
turkey to smash out three windows.

People really need proofreading skills, "the vehicle careered into a curb." Was there a job fair for cabs going on?

Again with the name thing: Copsy. Copsy rescued 2 elderly people from a burning car by smashing out the window with a 20 pound frozen turkey. I have always heard it was beneficial but who knew just how much?

I wonder if Mrs. Copsy believed the story told by her husband once he got home.

husband: Baby, you'll never believe what happened tonight.

wife: Uh, where's my turkey I told you to get on the way home?

husband: But I'm a hero - I'll be in the news!

wife: Uh-huh, yeah, you better get your ass back to the store and get my damned turkey or you'll be in the hospital!! What the hell are we supposed to eat?! Do I have to do everything around here?

husband: But...but... (sigh).

He should've known a hero is never welcome in his own home. If he would've thought more quickly, he could've used the burning car to bake his turkey.

Unfortunately, the only thing cooked was his goose.