Thursday, February 08, 2007

I Will Not Be IGNORED, Dan!

Headline: After Being Charged With Attempted Murder, Nowak Has Embarassed NASA and Likely Grounded Her Career

Okay, unless you've been living under a moon rock, everyone knows about this psycho astronaut.

But what makes her so crazy? So she had in her possession a wig, a folding knife, a steel mallot, a BB gun, and pepper spray.

Correct me if I'm wrong but, aside from forgetting the duct tape, aren't those the same materials that were used to bring Apollo 13 back to Earth safely?

I don't understand what initially set off her rocket-boosters enough to want to kidnap this other woman. And where would she have taken her? Outerspace?

She's lucky she didn't have an affair with Major Nelson. Jeannie would've blinked that bitch back to Mars before she could say Ali Baba.

But the real thing that boils my rabbits is that fact that she has put a black mark on women in the space program and/or the Air Force with her silly antics.

That's one small step for man, one giant leap backward for women.

I'd say the only good thing that came from this is that her picture is worse than Nick Nolte's, who must be so relieved to lose that top slot.

Not to mention how much money and fuel were wasted launching an investigation on her. I guess that doesn't matter, as long as she wasn't flown on top of a 747 from the Cape to Houston.

Another thing that has me curious is will the other woman's lawyer refer to this case as the space suit? I know I would.

I'm certain it'll only take t-minus 20 seconds and counting for the jury to find her guilty. Without a doubt, she'll be off into the wild, blue women's penitentiary for a very long time.

Hope she really likes tang.


Blogger X. Dell said...

(1) The "space suit?" Ma'am, you've outdone yourself.

(2) Our papers said that she had a BB cartridge, not a BB gun. I'll have to check on that tomorrow. But from what I understand, she's being charged with attempted kidnapping and attempted murder. I guess it's theoretically possible to kill someone with an air gun. I've been shot a few times by those things myself. It's painful, sure. But I'm still here to tell the tale. I'm guessing that someone's going to drop or reduce that particular charge as the investigation progresses.

(3) What's rally curious is that the Space program has pretty strict psychological screening for its flight personnel. What's more, the USN promoted her to the rank of Captain. Kinda makes you wonder how she slipped through the cracks.

8:20 PM, February 08, 2007  
Blogger JohnB said...

Perhaps Anna Nicole Smith should have gone into space instead...may she rest in peace...:(

8:56 PM, February 08, 2007  
Blogger mindy said...

as soon as i heard this story, i thought, wow, this doesn't do much for women now does it?

6:22 AM, February 09, 2007  
Blogger Pat said...

I'm amused, yet irritated that NASA's initial response was that they'll re-structure their psychological screening.

Does that translate to "We're going to add the question 'are you thinking about kidnapping and killing anyone if they try to take your man away?'"

I loved the "space suit" reference.

6:35 AM, February 09, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

X: 1) why, thank you.
2) guess it could at least cause serious bodily injury if she used it like a baseball bat. ;)
3) there's always at least one in the bunch, from what I've seen.

JohnB: wasn't that shocking news?

Mindy: yep, I thought the same thing. other people's kids...what can you do?

Pat: no joke! that's so hilarious. ...thanks for stopping by and for the compliment.

1:17 PM, February 09, 2007  
Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

OMG, that's the most brilliant topic header of all-time!!!!

2:25 PM, February 09, 2007  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Hell, those items are necessary survival tools in the city.

6:40 PM, February 09, 2007  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

Man, you just gave me the chills with your title. Images of a dead rabbit are now in my brain.

6:47 PM, February 09, 2007  
Blogger David Amulet said...

All of us have this potential within us. We never know what circumstancces might drive us to such "crazy" behavior.

Well, except for the getting caught wearing a diaper thing. That's just a pisser.

-- david

6:33 PM, February 11, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

Thanks Ray!

Enemy - those tools are useful just about anywhere.

Phoenix - just stay away from the rollercoasters.

David - hilarious! guess she needed to make sure her blast shields were in place.

10:05 AM, February 12, 2007  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Good writing, Watch. I like the space suit comment.

12:16 PM, February 12, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

Thanks Mark, I appreciate that, coming from a talented person such as yourself.

1:17 PM, February 12, 2007  

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