Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Would You Like a Cup of Coffin?

Headline: S.F. Company Launches 'Meth Coffee'

Yerba mate comes from South America and is used to make teas and coffees there. Sellers of yerba mate products claim it raises your energy level, so pairing it with already caffeinated coffee beans could provide quite the boost.

Those guys really know how to make one amphetamine cup of coffee, eh?

Sounds great, doesn't it? That is, if you want your smile to double as a Carlsbad Caverns brochure.

Not to mention, if you're the first customer of the day, you may very well be blown to bits if they haven't unhooked the trip wires yet.

And who needs that shit so early in the morning?!

Besides, I'm sure their shop locations aren't of great convenience either. How many times do you find yourself in a remote desert location craving that hot cup of joe?

Even if they had a store within the city limits, who would want to sit nextdoor to a noisy daycare center and be forced to look at all of those freakish, hairless kids?

Nope. As much as I enjoy the beverage, I think I'll stick to the regular brew.

12 Comments:

Blogger mindy said...

their slogan..coffee: you can sleep when your dead. this would do it. hahaha!!

7:00 AM, January 17, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

exactly! :)

1:40 PM, January 17, 2007  
Blogger SJ said...

Meanwhile Tea growers fight back with:
Tea: You can wake up from the dead.

10:35 PM, January 17, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

Ha. I'm picturing a bunch of zombies, until that first sip makes them normal again. :)

12:58 PM, January 18, 2007  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

I can't top any of these comments.

1:16 PM, January 19, 2007  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

What a way to make yourself go into cardiac arrest.

7:26 PM, January 19, 2007  
Blogger David Amulet said...

Me, too. I'll stick with the original stuff.

-- david

11:42 AM, January 20, 2007  
Blogger JohnB said...

Not only would one have "coffee breath", but "meth mouth" as well...quite the titillating combination don't you think?

3:54 PM, January 20, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

John: Godzilla comes to mind - if Godzilla smoked cigars and hung out in beauty salons. :)

4:09 PM, January 20, 2007  
Blogger X. Dell said...

I think there are some people for whom the concepts of coffee and meth are interchangable.

10:51 PM, January 21, 2007  
Blogger Seven said...

With a proper branding from a top flight ad agency it would soon become prevalent and pricey.
A smile as big as Carlsbad..hehe

9:15 AM, January 22, 2007  
Blogger JohnB said...

Man! You said it!

6:46 PM, January 22, 2007  

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