Thursday, January 11, 2007

Going Down... in Flames?

Headline: Woman sets herself on fire in Seattle hotel elevator

The woman, who hasn't been identified, suffered burns to 60 percent of her body and was taken to Harborview Medical Center. The woman had been a guest at the Marriott-Waterfront.

Since my curiosity has reached a whole new level, without ever having to press a button, allow me to raise this question.Was it an attempt of suicide or an accident?

Usually a suicide attempt is a cry for help. However, I would imagine her cries for help began shortly after the heat intensity in that elevator matched that of an over-cooked hot pocket in Satan's breakroom.

If she was trying to make a statement, I suppose a moving platform was just as good as any. Yes, muzak can be quite disturbing, but is it worth taking your own life? It would've been easier to have taken the stairs instead. Which led me to believe this was purely accidental.

Let's assume it was a flatulant moment gone wrong - very wrong. There she was standing in there all alone and figured nobody would know. But then the panic set in and she resorted to the classic removal of scents plan - aka: CRiSP.

We all know the trick is to strike a match to get rid of any unwanted scents. However, regardless of how bad it may be, you're not supposed to use a wind-resistant turbo lighter to get that job done - yowza! Unfortunately, she had to learn this the hard way.

There were no official comments made by hotel representatives, however, there are unconfirmed reports that say the hotel chain is currently considering changing their name to Marriot-Fireside.


Blogger JohnB said...

I guess she’d rather burn out, then fade away…

10:16 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger mindy said...

i bet it was the muzak.
granted.. you don't have to set yourself on fire, but i've wanted to do something drastic while listening to that crap.

1:52 PM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger Raydude6131 said...

Whenever I hear someone got burned and they give a percentage of their body that was burned, as in this case %60, I always find myself asking "Yeah but what if it's the 60% nobody ever sees. That could be not so bad, right?". Like you'd say "Wow, Susie has a pretty face, nice smile, shapely legs...but if you saw her overcooked'd hurl so BAD!".

4:57 PM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger Fated said...

I can't imagine a person burning would smell very good. From what I understand, death by fire is extremely painful. I bet she wishes she was more successful. Someone hand the woman a revolver.

(phew, I sound like a bad person.)

2:47 PM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger Seven said...

This could be a co-star for a new Dumb and Dumber movie. Burns are a horrible recovery experience. For God Sakes Woman, if you're gonna do it, get it over with and quit making work for ER folks..

4:24 PM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

well, John, looks like she's doing both.

Mindy, yeah, but I would've thought of something else first, I'd think.

Ray, that whole situation probably really burned her ass.

Fated, I'm sure you're right and it's my worst nightmare, with drowning coming in at a close second. And, no, you don't sound like a bad person!

Seven, no joke! My cynical nature would think it would be a waste of cadaver skin grafts as well, but you never know. She may have lit the fire under her own ass to get with the program.

5:08 PM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

JohnB, talk about gallows humor, that was a good one.

Getting healthier, Omni.

8:50 PM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

Glad to hear it Enemy. Time to get all 'south-side' on those germs. :)

5:21 AM, January 13, 2007  
Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

um....ouch? I loved your parting shot to this one

7:02 PM, January 19, 2007  

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