Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Cool, Blue Note

Headline: Be Cool, by Christian McBride

I believe it pays to be cool. Most people are always terribly stressed and hypersensitive to absolutely everything. They will age quickly. Cool people stay young forever.

Mr. McBride is a jazz musician who claims his grandfather taught him the art of being cool. Well, that's cool right there...my grandmother taught me how to feed chickens.
I’m curious as to how one would go about teaching someone to be cool. Did he sport a pair of Ray-Bans at age 5? Was the juice in his sippy cup shaken and not stirred? Was he forced to watch Shaft every evening?
I think being cool may be easier for men than women. From what I can remember, there weren’t many role models of coolness for girls.
The only ones I can even recall, while I was growing up, are Pinkie Tuscadero from Happy Days or Rizzo from Grease. Although, I don’t know if they were cool so much as they were, well, whores.
I can’t imagine why, but the general populace has a tendency to look down on women who don dark sunglasses, speak with a husky voice, and smoke a fine Cuban, all the while keeping their bitches in line.
Okay, so I don’t really smoke cigars but you get the gist.
Nowadays, people like Quentin Tarantino, whose movies use enough blood to give Keith Richards transfusions for another 100 years, has defined the word cool.
Problem is, even if you do look like George or Selma, nobody could live up to that notion without spending a few years in Pelican Bay, or at least, Tijuana.
I fear for the future of coolness. It's up to all those who understand to put forth an effort to enlighten this generation and ensure its very survival.
Until then, Elmore James will remain on my stereo, my sippy cup will never be empty, and the chickens will always be fed.
You dig?

18 Comments:

Blogger Seven said...

"I can’t imagine why, but the general populace has a tendency to look down on women who don dark sunglasses, speak with a husky voice, and smoke a fine Cuban, all the while keeping their bitches in line."

If this is so then the general populace does not matter.

Good, fun stuff, and remember no one loves a fat yella chicken.

2:44 PM, January 25, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

Seven, I'll have to remember that. In fact, I think I'll substitute that phrase for, 'nobody likes a smartass'...and see the reactions I get. :)

5:47 PM, January 25, 2007  
Blogger JohnB said...

One day, we'll have to get a pint. Now, that would be cool.

8:22 PM, January 25, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

yes, John, that would be cool. We could call it Lagers for Bloggers. :)

6:26 AM, January 26, 2007  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Very good on Keith Richards.

9:09 AM, January 26, 2007  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

The young people coming up are pretty lame. They lack coolness.

To me, The Fonz will always embody cool.

9:33 AM, January 26, 2007  
Blogger JohnB said...

Sweet!

12:21 PM, January 26, 2007  
Blogger Ray Van Horn, Jr. said...

And you'll bring those chickens home to roost! This was really well-written, and I say that coolness is internal not what exists on the facade. Coolness inside is what gives you confidence, and whether or not you're a physical god or goddess with or without the mysterious sunglasses, it's the confidence you carry that makes people take notice, particularly since most people are insecure to begin with.

And turn up that Blue Note! I'll be grabbing some Art Blakey off the shelf...

12:36 PM, January 27, 2007  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Shades, I never wear them. I am not cool.

1:46 PM, January 27, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

Phoenix: I thought the Fonz was cooler when he wore the blue wind-breaker. ;)

Enemy: of course, you're cool - see Ray's comment.

Ray: thank you. and you're so right, I couldn't agree with you more. "Let's Cut it, let's cut it"

5:15 PM, January 27, 2007  
Blogger X. Dell said...

I've found that the secret of coolness is indifference/apathy. Seems like a rather high price to pay. Maybe we should plan the funeral service for cool instead of trying to revive it.

Just saying.

7:10 PM, January 28, 2007  
Blogger SJ said...

I am so cool I can never drink water. It freezes at the touch of my lips.

7:16 PM, January 28, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

X: I'm not sure if I agree. Cool, to me, is all about being passionate - just not in a hysterical way.


SJ: you're so funny.

7:29 PM, January 28, 2007  
Blogger Cecilia said...

Good post, i get what you're saying, for me being 'cool' would mean i'm always relaxed and composed. Something like being totally in control of the situation and my emotions. Thats being cool to me, i guess everyone has a different notion tho:)

9:47 PM, January 29, 2007  
Blogger mindy said...

i don't wear shades either. i'll probably regret it later in life. oh well, maybe then i'll start wearing shades. old ladies with shades are weird! i love weird!!!

4:53 AM, January 30, 2007  
Blogger Raydude6131 said...

I like Keith Richards as cool. When you've pickled yourself with that much medication but STILL can play good,..that's cool.

6:12 AM, February 02, 2007  
Blogger Amie said...

I think being forced to watch shaft would be accurate.

I wish my grandfather taught me how to feed the chickens. Every time I went in there the darned things chased me out.. On the plus side, they scared me enough that I don't feel even a little bit guilty eating them. Those vile birds are delicious.

11:46 AM, February 02, 2007  
Blogger On My Watch said...

Cecilia: yes, apparently people have differing ideas about it. I'd say keeping your cool in a situation where you have no control is the key.

Mindy: Keeps the squinting/wrinkles factor down. just as long as they aren't those big black ones that you get after an eye doctor appt.

Ray: yes, that is awesome.

Amie: they chased me too, especially this one rooster. Wish I had an inspirational story about becoming an olympic runner because of it, but I don't. oh well. :)

7:16 AM, February 06, 2007  

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