Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Pick Up the Pace

Headline: Man stabs 2 in tomato theft attempt

DES MOINES, Iowa - Elmer Pace, 53, faces robbery and assault charges after allegedly stabbing two homeowners who chased him when he tried to steal tomatoes from their garden on Saturday.

It took a few minutes to finally ketchup to him but once they did poor ol' Elmer didn't stand a chance.

What could've been going through his mind, surely I do not know. He must've been hitting the sauce beforehand because you can't just pluck a man's tomatoes like that and run off.

Luckily for him, he wasn't there trying to take any of their peas as well. That would've just added a little more spice to the mix.

Lettuce all hope they'll toss him into the county jail where he can stew in his own juices for a while and consider the rotten thing he has done.

Certainly he'll be bacon for the mercy of the court but as long as the judge is worth his salt, Mr. Pace should be toast.

Oh well, I can only hope justice will be served quickly - not to mention lunch!

14 Comments:

Blogger Remy said...

Funny. You should have dropped "bacon for mercy" like a hot potato.

5:02 PM, August 08, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Maybe so, but it's kinda hard to have a BLT without the B though.

5:57 PM, August 08, 2006  
Blogger Ben said...

Funny, you ever thought of a life writing comedy skits onmywatch ?

Anyhow, thank goodness he's in custardy

12:55 AM, August 09, 2006  
Blogger SJ said...

Thats a fine pickle he has landed himself in.

3:26 AM, August 09, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Ben: thanks, but not really. "custardy"! HA. maybe you should!

SJ: good one! maybe his lawyer can cut him a sweet dill, you never know.

5:24 AM, August 09, 2006  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

Holy crap I cannot stop laughing....

2:05 PM, August 09, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Phoenix: yay! glad you enjoyed it.

2:31 PM, August 09, 2006  
Blogger JohnB said...

Spaghetti anyone?

8:15 PM, August 09, 2006  
Anonymous DarthRandal said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:36 AM, August 10, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:06 AM, August 10, 2006  
Blogger David Amulet said...

For a man to steal someone's tomatos, he must be really sauced.

-- david

8:25 AM, August 10, 2006  
Blogger Death Warmed Over said...

The guy sounds like a real fruit to me.

8:34 PM, August 10, 2006  
Blogger Rocky said...

He was probably all juiced up on those tomatoes. I'm glad they corn-ered him before he robbed other gardens. He was probably ratted out by a gnome.

9:13 PM, August 13, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Rocky: yes, of course, the gnome!!

4:59 AM, August 14, 2006  

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