Friday, August 04, 2006

Ace in the Hole

Headline: Angler speared by a giant fish

When he saw a companion on his boat hook a giant fish during a sea angling contest, Ian Card was delighted. Next second, the scene of triumph turned to horror - as the 14ft blue marlin leapt out of the water across the vessel and speared Mr Card through the chest with its spiked bill.

Was this a freak accident, manly competition, or revenge?

Now, I'm just fishing for answers here, but, was Mr. Card not aware that there are better ways to catch fish than that? Anybody who has ever watched Bill Dance on TV knows better. One thing is for sure, his buddies sure got to see him dance right across that boat and into the water.

I wonder though, if a blue marlin was covered in blood, wouldn't it be a purple marlin then? Hmm.

Maybe Ian was jealous of his friend hooking a 14ft-er and wanted to one-up the guy. Be careful what you wish for, though, because he's the one who got one-up-in-the-chest.

Or was it simply the marlin had his sights set on Ian being mounted on his living room wall for a change? It's very odd though, considering marlins aren't usually violent creatures. At least, that's not how he portrayed himself on Wild Kingdom. Only Jim knows for sure.

Strangely enough, the man survived. Of course, if it were my boat he wouldn't have had a chance. Solely for the porpoise of me screaming, "holy shit! did you see that shit!" for about 45 minutes straight.

Overall, do you know what I found to be the most intriguing possibility of this entire story? Was it getting hit by an 800 lb fish, surviving a stab wound, and being dragged underwater while bleeding profusely? Nah.

It's that if Ian Card's middle name happens to begin with a D, his name would be I.D. Card. Ha!

Anyway, since I can't prove any of my theories, I suppose I'll just have to go with freak accident as the answer to this crazy incident, or maybe it was simply in the cards.

12 Comments:

Blogger The Phoenix said...

Think about it...he's going to have the ultimate "the one that got away" story.

2:34 PM, August 04, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

absolutely. especially since he's the one that got away!

4:06 PM, August 04, 2006  
Blogger JohnB said...

There are no coincidences, there is a reason for everything.

10:31 PM, August 04, 2006  
Blogger Ben said...

I reckon Mr Card will sell movie rights for this story. We could have another Jaws phenomenon here.

How the hell did he survive ?

6:06 AM, August 05, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

JohnB: there is a sea of possibilities.

Ben: I'm sure you're right about the movie, if he plays his cards right. :)

8:38 AM, August 05, 2006  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

That hurts just hearing about it.

10:40 AM, August 05, 2006  
Blogger Death Warmed Over said...

YOur post was very punny.....in a sad that's my kinda luck way.

8:39 PM, August 05, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Metal Mark: It's almost impossible to imagine.


DWO: I can only hope your luck wouldn't be *that* bad...if so, we're never going fishing together!

4:55 PM, August 06, 2006  
Blogger Remy said...

You are one sick freak.
But a very funny one.

8:15 PM, August 06, 2006  
Blogger SJ said...

I am sure if I Card read your post he would have no problem "getting the point". IS his new nickname Spike(d)?

10:07 PM, August 06, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Remy: I'm not sure whether to say thank you or be offended.


SJ: good one. I would think his new nickname would be "Lucky".

4:24 AM, August 07, 2006  
Blogger David Amulet said...

This is a scene that should have appeared in the short-lived series Dead Like Me. What a great visual!

-- david

5:35 AM, August 08, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home