Sunday, August 13, 2006

Hope Springs Eternal

Headline: This East Side tree does its own watering
Lucille Pope's red oak tree has baffled tree experts, water specialists and nursery professionals. The knotted, towering tree, more than 100 years old, has become the root of scrutiny. The tree has gurgled water from its trunk for the past three months.
When the Pope family dog lifted its leg near this tree, little did he know the tree would beat him to the punch! Whoa, when was the bidet installed?!

So, what turned this mighty oak into a weeping willow? Several experts have explored the bizarre occurance, but nobody can come up a single, reasonable explanation.

Lucille Pope is going out on a limb with the idea it may be a miracle tree of some kind. I'm afraid the media attention will entice every sick, lame, and lazy lunatic to make a pilgrimage to her house to be healed by the magic tree. I just hope they don't light too many candles around it or they could burn it down.

Her son isn't exactly gushing with ideas of it being remotely holy. However, I don't completely dismiss the notion. Maybe it is a legimate case of a religious phenomenon. It could very well be a twigmata!

Mrs. Pope should notify the Vatican ASAP. Considering her name she shouldn't have a problem getting through.


Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

You think the name is enough? I would find a guy with the last name of Pope. Heck, what do I know.

1:26 PM, August 14, 2006  
Blogger Ben said...

"Twigmata" hahahaha.

Onmywatch, where the heck do you find these stories ?

We have a police investigative team over here a little like the FBI. They're called The Special Branch. I wonder if they could help ?

1:29 PM, August 14, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Ben: can't reveal my sources, but if dumb stories are what you're after - I'm your girl. And yes, the Special Branch wood be great.

Enemy: Just picture Mrs. Pope calling the Vatican, "may I speak to the Pope, this is Mrs. Pope" and she gets connected before the secretary realizes and thinks to herself, hey wait a minute - the Pope isn't married!! ;)

7:20 PM, August 14, 2006  
Blogger Death Warmed Over said...

Why is it no one can ever see the garden hose pushed through the back side of the tree? I'm going out on a limb I know, but as miracles go this one leaves me feeling a little wooden.

8:34 PM, August 14, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

Death: it's that whole *pay-no-attention-to-the-man-behind-the-curtain* thing.

6:57 AM, August 15, 2006  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Mrs Pope--ah, I love it.

9:04 AM, August 15, 2006  
Anonymous Milred said...

I liked the "twigmata" reference also. LOL Great story! Didn't Moses strike a rock and water came out? Who says God can't use a tree this time. Oh my Gawd!!

5:36 PM, August 15, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

I don't know about the rock thing, but I know about a burning bush - so I guess these 2 would cancel each other out. ? oh my gawd!

7:36 PM, August 15, 2006  
Blogger JohnB said...

I think you hit the nail on the head with the mentioning of the dog. It is plain to see that the neighborhood dog pack arranged for a natural toilet to be installed in said locale...anyone should see that!

7:24 PM, August 16, 2006  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

you know, John, you might be right! as a dog-owner I should've known they are the ones who really run the world. :)

7:30 PM, August 16, 2006  

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