Beyond Ready

Headline: Mummy of Tattooed Woman Discovered in Peru Pyramid

In addition to the heavily tattooed body, the tomb yielded a rich array of funeral objects, from gold sewing needles and weaving tools to masterfully worked metal jewelry.

This makes me wonder about burial practices nowadays. What would researchers think when they dig up bodies and find nothing? No weapons. No fancy jewelry - unless you happen to be buried in Compton. But for the average person, how boring?

I've often said I don't want to be buried in a dress, especially without shoes. What if there is a need to run? What if the ground is hot?

Also, I've requested to be buried with at least two things: a nightlight and the biggest fire extinguisher that can fit into the coffin - enough to give me a 5 minute head start. Just in case.

Most of those ancient people were buried with either weapons or some type of preparation for the next world. And we're going out there empty-handed? Not to mention, some of us won't have all the parts we were born with either.

I remember once when getting an ID card issued to me, the girl asked if I wanted to be an organ donor. My reply was simple: no, you never know if you might need that stuff in the next life.

Wouldn't it suck to show up with no eyes? It's bad enough your mouth will be sewn shut. Although, I do know a few people who need that procedure done now.

Who knows what will happen or what you'll need, but at least give the people a better show than just a pocket watch and a wedding ring. At least, go all MacGyver and be buried with a swiss army knife, gum, and dental floss.

Just might come in handy, if only for good oral hygiene.