Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Avon Clawing

Headline: Crazy Cat Terrorizes Connecticut Town
The neighbors said those weapons, along with catlike stealth, have allowed Lewis to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.
First of all, let me bring attention to their need to point out he had catlike stealth. What other kind of stealth would a cat possibly have?

Secondly, there is actually a restraining order on this animal. A restraining order - on a cat! That's about as useful as eyedrops on a forest fire. I mean, why don't they just de-claw the damned thing if it's so terrorizing? I wonder if there was an Order to Show Claws hearing before it was issued.

Wouldn't it be fun to watch these people get home from work and zigzag across their lawns trying to escape the wrath? Or the Jehovah's Witnesses who stroll down sidewalks only to suddenly be wearing a furry hat, sending them into a screaming frenzy. Living room curtains, pulled slightly open, as children surveil the front yard before they dare make a mad dash for the mailbox.

Yes, I would definitely be catatonic in that situation. But why the Avon lady, of all people? You think the resident opened the door to see this catastrophe in action?

Ding-dong! rrrrreeeeeaaaarrrououwww (screams) hissssshissss (oh my God, please help me!!) Door slams shut.

Maybe they should think about making their Skin So Soft repel cats, too.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Avon is cutting thousands of jobs so that it's NYC Directers and Executives can keep earning their salaries while putting the people who have really done the work for Avon over the last 10 years out of work.......Avon is out sourcing America to India and China.....
Perhaps if Avon didn't pay some company millions to re-organzie it's company by closing departments and out sourcing ....and putting people in charge of departments they have no experience ...and just promoted the qualified people from within the department already in the organization and fired the incompetitant executives who just spent their time passing the politically correct buck........ Avon would turn higher profits....Perhaps somebody should inform Andrea Jung of Avon that the very people she is are putting out of work is in fact Avon's own customer base....and FYI if their customers can't afford to put food on the table they certianly aren't buying Avon.......Avon is a disgrace to America !

7:54 AM, April 12, 2006  

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