Love Me Tenderized

Headline: Woman Allegedly Stabs Man Over Elvis Song

PERTH, Australia — A woman stabbed her boyfriend with a pair of scissors because he repeatedly played the Elvis Presley hit "Burning Love" on the King's birthday, police said Tuesday.

As evil as it sounds, I would've done the exact same thing, especially if he were performing the disgusting hip-thrust moves that usually accompany the hunka hunka parts. He's lucky she didn't set him on fire to be more appropriate for the moment.

I imagine as he belted out, "Lord Almighty, I feel my temperature rising" it was more than likely because of the stab wounds than glee over the song. I wonder if there were hunks of burning love on the living room carpet as well as the cd player?

If he were listening to Suspicious Minds instead he might've had the foresight to know what was coming. He's also lucky he wasn't playing In the Ghetto or he would've been shot 30 times as well.

Instead of returning to his home after the hospital visit, he should've checked himself into the Heartbreak Hotel, but that's alright Momma, because he will surely experience sweet revenge as she will soon be dancing to the Jailhouse Rock for a long time to come.

Elvis has left the building.