Can You Dig It?

Headline: Archaeologists Discover Ancient Church

JERUSALEM - Israeli archaeologists on Saturday said they have discovered what may be the oldest Christian church in the Holy Land on the grounds of a prison near the biblical site of Armageddon.

The Antiquities Authority said more than 60 prison inmates took part in the dig in recent months. Channel Two said there is speculation that Israel may move the prison and open a tourist attraction in its place.

They failed to mention the inmates were probably already digging as a means of escape, so they shouldn't be commended for their contributions. Even so, what in the hell did those guys do to get sent to a prison at the biblical site of Armageddon? And I thought Pelican Bay was bad.

I hope Israel changes its mind about the tourist attraction idea. Although I do wonder what kind of souvenirs they would sell. Asteroid keychains? What could the travel brochure possibly offer to entice people? Sail Apocalypse Day Cruises on Fire & Brimstone Lake. Well, maybe you'd like to go to hell on a party barge, but you can count me out.

However, I might submit my slogan ideas to their tourist commission just to see what happens:

Discover Armageddon ~ It's the End of the World
Good Friends ~ End Times

Maybe I should just go to church instead.