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Headline: Scientists Study Urban Coyotes

TUCSON, Ariz. — State and university researchers plan a detailed study on urban neighborhoods that have become hot spots for coyotes.

They hope to trap 10 coyotes early next month to determine where the animals go and how they behave.

A resident in one of the affected neighborhoods said coyotes have started following her. She bought an air horn to ward them off in future encounters.

Initially I wondered, how could you trap a coyote when the coyote is the one with all the traps? I'll leave that up to the researchers who are, at this very second, feverishly scanning stolen Acme plans and diagrams.

As for where they go and how they behave, it is obvious to me. They go to Gilley's and they behave, well, like animals. You don't have to have a degree to figure that one out.

It would be easy to spot these Urban Coyotes. They'd be the ones wearing their little I Rode the Bull At Gilley's t-shirts, driving their pick-ups way too fast, and blaring country music from their stereos.

The woman who is being followed should just sing Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places instead of using an air horn, maybe then they'd get the hint.

By the way, wouldn't Urban Coyote be a great name for a band?