Monday, October 17, 2005

The Italian Stallion...or Nag?

Headline: Stallone returning for sixth 'Rocky'

Stallone has been trying to make a sixth movie for years and has been reworking a script. The latest version, which sources said is similar to the tone and grit of the first two movies, persuaded the studios to negotiate a deal.

In the new installment, Rocky, lonely and retired in Philadelphia, comes out of retirement, intending to fight a few low-profile local fights. He's approached to fight a match with reigning heavyweight champ Mason "The Line" Dixon, and soon his comeback ignites a media firestorm.

I'm glad to know he's going back to the roots of the original, considering the first couple were the best. What I want to know is will he have to fight against sides of potato salad, as opposed to sides of beef, during his motivational re-training sessions now that he's older? Will his eye of the tiger now have cataracts? At least he shouldn't have to worry about getting his teeth knocked out - unless the reigning champ accidentally kicks over his Efferdent cup.

Speaking of champ, the name of this one is Mason "The Line" Dixon. What will his catch phrase be, I wonder. "You done crossed The Line punk!", or something equally lame. I fear the only thing that will be on The Line is Stallones' career.

My prediction? Rocky VI would sooner become a champion if Clint Eastwood happened to be his coach and offered to direct the movie as well.

Yo, Adrian, let's hope I'm wrong.


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