Random Acts of Contrition
Headline: Would-Be Nun Robber Nabbed in Wisconsin
The man broke into the 61-year-old Catholic nun's home shortly after 8 a.m. Tuesday, police said. When she told him she had no money, he forced her to drive him around in her car for almost an hour in search of money.
What part of nun didn't he understand?
him: give me your money, sister!
her: i don't have any.
her: yes, none.
him: Jesus Christ.
He's so lucky he didn't pull that stunt on my high school Theology teacher, Sr. Mary Beatyourass. She would've taught him a lesson or two.
So far, he hasn't been charged with anything, but I'm hoping once he goes to jail, he'll be made to kneel in the corner on uncooked rice for 3 hours every day.