Four Teaspoons of Aggravated Assault

Headline: Mom Allegedly Spikes Macaroni With Bleach

CORAOPOLIS, Pa. — A mother has been charged with trying to poison her adult daughter and her daughter's family after allegedly pouring bleach into their macaroni and cheese on Saturday night.

Naturally she was put in jail and must go through a psych-eval. The judge should've tacked on mandatory culinary classes as well.

Mac & cheese is usually orange, right? So how stupid is this woman to pour bleach into it? It would've made more sense to add it to mashed potatoes. She needs to really work on her craft if she plans to try this again.

Other findings revealed the buns were lined with Bounce and the hotdogs were boiled in Drano - at least she showed concern for the families' ability to wash it all down. But it doesn't matter, she didn't make a clean break this time around.

She should've used EasyMac.