Saturday, November 26, 2005

Virginia is For Lovitts

Headline: 1,000th execution slated for next week
Robin Lovitt, 41, will likely be the one to earn that macabre distinction next Wednesday. He was convicted of fatally stabbing a man with scissors during a 1998 pool hall robbery in Virginia.

Virginia Gov. Mark Warner is examining Lovitt's case, and could decide whether or not to grant clemency over the weekend.
First of all, notice the name - Robin. I'm telling you, I'm onto something big. Secondly, are there prizes for being the 1,000th customer? Will confetti fall from the ceiling when the switch is thrown?

Who would think to rob a pool hall anyway – especially with scissors? What did he say upon entering the place? "This is a pool-stick up! You, in the corner, put the money in my side pocket." You’d think the overwhelming chore of dragging a 2-ton bag of quarters down the street would've deterred him. Now, that’s what I call racking 'em up.

What's crazy is the fact that the scissors - even though the DNA tests were inconclusive - were thrown away due to lack of storage space. Were these abnormally large scissors? Like the kind traditionally used for ribbon-cutting ceremonies or were they industrial strength hedge trimmers? How can you not have space? I think they're probably in a desk drawer somewhere and nobody wanted to admit to taking them.

All I can say is Lovitt seems to be behind the 8-ball on this deal.


Blogger Rocky said...

As a result of this fatal stabbing, Virginia passed a law that only safety scissors can be used at pool halls.

11:21 PM, November 26, 2005  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

haha, but I hated safety scissors - they just didn't seem to cut it.

3:15 PM, November 27, 2005  

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