Last Rite of Passage

Headline: Stripper for 102nd birthday party

Staff at a home for the elderly organised an unlikely present for a resident's 102nd birthday - a stripper.

Planning an event such as that one had to have been difficult, to say the least. I would imagine the scene looked more like an emergency room than a birthday party.

Paramedics on stand-by, a priest waiting in the wings, and lawyers milling over wills just in case she went into cardiac arrest during the show.

Maybe they hooked up the heart monitor to the stereo and made it beep with the beat. As long as they didn't forget to double-up on her Depends things should have gone smoothly.

As for the male dancer, he apparently has no shame - taking money from an old lady. She probably slipped him some dollar bills with her teeth, which would've been easier to retrieve with a fish net since her teeth were in a cup of Efferdent across the room. Hey, wet money is still money, right?

Actually, it was probably the easiest job he's ever had. He couldn't have been bumping and grinding too much or she would've become like a fine powder by the end of the dance. Her walker may have come in handy as a prop for him as well.

I just can't imagine who would accept a job like that in the first place. Norman Bates comes to mind.

She had a great time though and requested to have 2 strippers next year. I just don't know if I'd be tempting fate that much, being as she's read every magazine in Heaven's waiting room - twice.

But I'm sure God will have mercy on her, moreso if the male dancer was a 93 year old.