It Dawned on Me
What started out as a typical morning filled with routine duties, such as work the newspaper's Jumble and clean the breakfast dishes, turned out to be quite an adventure.
I held my fingers under the running water until it was the right amount of warmth before I plugged the sink and added a large squirt of Dawn dishwashing liquid.
As it filled, I went outside with my dog to have a quick smoke, although my dog gave up the filthy habit quite some time ago she came out with me anyway. A few minutes passed as I watched my dog run around the yard before I heard a strange noise coming from inside. Then it dawned on me.
THE WATER WAS STILL RUNNING
When I looked through the door, my eyes caught sight of one thing that could only be described by three words: ICEBERG – DEAD AHEAD!
A bubbly iceberg large enough to take out the Titanic was growing bigger and bigger in the sink. Water started to spill over onto the countertops and onto the floor as I stood and gawked at a sight that was beyond belief.
I dove in to prevent further damage and salvage what I could. Plates floated by as I waded toward the faucet. I knew I was in big trouble when I heard a string quartet playing in the background and saw my dog floating away atop a broken door, screaming, “Jack, I’ll never let go!!!”
Sheets and sheets of paper towels were steadily ripped off of the roll as I tried to sop up the mess. A bowl came in handy to try to bail the water. It was then that a sarcastic, quiet voice spoke to my heart: pull out the stopper, Jackass!
Right!
So, I pulled out the stopper and let it drain, while sudsy chaos still needed to be sopped up from every nook and cranny. Paper towels turned out to be as useful as Leonardo DiCaprio attending the Academy Awards; therefore, I employed the mop, which hung in my pantry.
Once all of the decks were swabbed and things were in ship shape again, I laughed at my own carelessness and thought to myself that I'd just had my first senior moment.
Luckily, nothing was damaged. Also, I now have a very clean kitchen - and dog - but there is one thing that I haven’t been able to find yet.
I held my fingers under the running water until it was the right amount of warmth before I plugged the sink and added a large squirt of Dawn dishwashing liquid.
As it filled, I went outside with my dog to have a quick smoke, although my dog gave up the filthy habit quite some time ago she came out with me anyway. A few minutes passed as I watched my dog run around the yard before I heard a strange noise coming from inside. Then it dawned on me.
THE WATER WAS STILL RUNNING
When I looked through the door, my eyes caught sight of one thing that could only be described by three words: ICEBERG – DEAD AHEAD!
A bubbly iceberg large enough to take out the Titanic was growing bigger and bigger in the sink. Water started to spill over onto the countertops and onto the floor as I stood and gawked at a sight that was beyond belief.
I dove in to prevent further damage and salvage what I could. Plates floated by as I waded toward the faucet. I knew I was in big trouble when I heard a string quartet playing in the background and saw my dog floating away atop a broken door, screaming, “Jack, I’ll never let go!!!”
Sheets and sheets of paper towels were steadily ripped off of the roll as I tried to sop up the mess. A bowl came in handy to try to bail the water. It was then that a sarcastic, quiet voice spoke to my heart: pull out the stopper, Jackass!
Right!
So, I pulled out the stopper and let it drain, while sudsy chaos still needed to be sopped up from every nook and cranny. Paper towels turned out to be as useful as Leonardo DiCaprio attending the Academy Awards; therefore, I employed the mop, which hung in my pantry.
Once all of the decks were swabbed and things were in ship shape again, I laughed at my own carelessness and thought to myself that I'd just had my first senior moment.
Luckily, nothing was damaged. Also, I now have a very clean kitchen - and dog - but there is one thing that I haven’t been able to find yet.
posted by On My Watch at 08:05
14 Comments:
Glad you were able to avoid a real tragedy.
yeah, me too! :)
You didn't stand on a kitchen chair and yell "I'm king of the world!"? We so rarely get those opportunities ...
I suppose in all the chaos I forgot. But hell, I'll go do it right now! :)
Oh chile', youse funny. Onc't Aunty was tryin' ter please Uncle Aloysius by fryin' up some quail, when long afore I done stopped frying thangs as it ain't fashionable much wif the doctors...any how, this day I give in ter Uncle's request and set the dutch oven on the stove wif the oil heatin' up.
Along came a lady what wanted ter give me a PTA job ter do so we yakked and then I walked out the door ter her car ter git her on her way when black smoke began billowing out the door!
Lawdy, but I dern near burnt the house down. Tha oil catched on fire, and smoke , oily sooty smoke coated everythang! Uncle called in the clearner folks to wach walls and ceilin's. Why, we even had ter have some sorta pink jello stuff smushed through them air condition vents...
Good Lawd, Aunty, you is lucky! I feel better now though that I'm not the only forgettful one.
Thanks for stopping by.
talk about senior moments.. today i threw my son's p.j.'s in the trash and his diaper in the laundry basket. ugh.
king of the world!! so funny!!!
I think we can apply Douglas Adams' advice from "A Hitchhiker's Guide..." when they say, "Don't Panic", and "Don't forget your towel"...anyway, "so long, and thanks for all the fish!"
Mindy: Gross!! hahaha.
JohnB: Guess I need to read that book. :)
The image of Celine Dion wearing yellow dish washing gloves just came to my mind as you told your tale.
Phoenix, Funny, but I doubt Celine would ever wear any work-type accessories.
Ben, I know, Life has no mercy. I don't know whether I should laugh at your experience or not. That's amazing. (okay, maybe I laughed a little)
I feel your pain. My shower drain was clogged up a bit this weekend and I found myself showering in a freakin' lake. Less dramatic, but just as titanic an experience.
-- david
Riot! It took me a minute to recover from your dog kicking the smoking habit part...
David, hate it when that happens!
Ray, yeah, she started to develop smoker's bark and decided to give them up for good. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home